Viz

Viz has been gracing British newsagents' shelves since 1979. Its irreverent mix of bad language, childish cartoons and sharp satire has seen its creators hauled over the coals by the United Nations, questioned by Scotland Yard's anti-terrorist branch and exhibited in the Tate Gallery. Viz's comic characters, such as the Fat Slags, Sid the Sexist, and Roger Mellie the foul-mouthed Man on the Telly, as well as its hugely popular Top Tips and Profanisaurus sections, are firmly established as national institutions, just like Broadmoor Hospital for the Criminally Insane. *Manufacturer's estimate.

THE REAL ALETWATS

FAT SLAGS

THE Male Online

LeTter BoCkS

XENA WORRIER PRINCESS

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1-800-MAN-AFTER-MIDNIGHT • Need help chasing the shadows away or simply require assistance through the darkness to the break of the day? Then CALL US NOW!

OPAQUE • YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND OUR CHARGES? NEITHER DO WE!

TAX HAVEN SHED • WANT TO STORE YOUR GARDEN IMPLEMENTS BUT DON’T WANT THEM TO BE CONSIDERED AMONG YOUR ASSETS FOR TAX PURPOSES? GET A…

THE REFEREE’S A W-AI-NKER

FRUT BUNN

The Pitts and the Paneldom

WHITTY’S TITTY CLAM GANG

Joan of Arc the Ostrich

18 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT GOLF • MARK Twain, Oscar Wilde, William Gladstone, F. W. Payn, Sam Loates or Harry Leon Wilson famously once said that “Golf is a good walk spoiled”. But thousands of people across Britain – and millions more across the world – would disagree with whichever one of them lot it was who famously once said it. Because from GPs to surgeons, from solicitors to lawyers, from politicians to presidents, playing golf is a pastime beloved by everyone. Once the preserve of the rich, the sport is now accessible to anyone with a few thousand pounds to spare each year for club membership and a load of expensive gear. But however much you think you know about golf, there are a tremendous number of facts about the game that you’d be surprised to find out about. So let’s tee up…

A JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE GOLF BALL

TEE-TIME • WITH a set of clubs, a trolley and golf shoes, as well as the exorbitant green fees charged by golf clubs Weasily setting players back a four figure sum, you might think that golf is a game accessible only to the wellheeled. But charity shops are full of bags of golf clubs at knock-down prices, and you don’t have to fork out to play on a golf course… if you have your own in your back yard!

Hole-in-ones… or Holes-in-one? • THE whole of the golfing world agrees that when you sink the ball with a single stroke, you have made a hole-in-one. But there is less agreement when someone does it for a second time – have you made 2 hole-in-ones, or 2 holes-in-one? Here, two renta-quote arseholes champion their preferred terminology to indicate the single-strokeshot plural.

Donald Trump’s Guide to Golf Gamesmanship • Guide to Golf Gamesmanship

NO PUTTS! • Amazing hole-in-one stories

CASANOVAMATIC WOODING KIT

THE GREAT BRITISH WOKE-PLACE! • Our reporter goes undercover to investigate the insidious ‘diversity culture’ at the heart of the UK job market

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RED LETTER DAY • Anonymous man posts rare find

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FOODIE BOLLOCKS

“I’M THE NEW RICHARD OSMAN” SAYS NEW RICHARD OSMAN • Lincoln man creates next big literary sensation

Stranger than Fiction

SPOILT BASTARD

RECORD COLLECTOR PRESENTS OASIS

DEATH WISH HOGWASH • Actor still alive, says local man

Brian can't

Roger’s PROFANISAURUS • An Update of...